Regrets

For the past two months I have been writing a poem a day in a little poetry diary of sorts.  All of the poems are rough drafts and most will probably never be fully finished poems, but I did want to share one daily poem  I wrote, because it seems to go with this poem:

I Want 2/1/2013

Part of me has always wanted to be a good person.
Not the part that makes good decisions, unfortunately.
I feel all conflicted.  I have a bifurcated soul -- I am not confused.
I am not an accidentally bad person, I'm bad on purpose.
I do not steal, or fornicate, unless you go to that lust in your heart
part.  I am not cruel to animals, but a lack of faults does not
make me faultless.  A list of sins I have never committed
does not make me sinless.  Having perfection by omission
does not, in the least sense make me perfect.  My one and only
perfection is in being perfectly selfish.  I want, I want, I want.

In the Collage poem, what I hope, is that I am starting to see the possibility of putting my bad memories to rest, or at least to see them with some degree of perspective.  What I hope for now, as I approach the age of 63 is that I can find some balance in my life, and feel content with that place.